Church, Millennials, and Nacho Libre...

If you follow me on Instagram, you may be aware that I recently decided to share something very special with my 3-year-old. I'm referring, of course, to watching an amazing movie with him called "Nacho Libre."

For anyone who is unfamiliar with the film, it is set at a Mexican monastery where Jack Black plays a friar who is prone to frustration due to a lack of fresh ingredients and nutrients to help him prepare food for the children who live in the orphanage. In order to secure funds to buy these things for his work he begins moonlighting as a luchador in the nearby town.  He has to do this covertly because the teaching at the monastery is that la lucha libre is sinful and, thereby, forbidden for anyone trying to follow God because they only fight each other to make false idols of themselves and to bring themselves glory and pride.

Some two-thirds into the movie, my little boy ditched the notion of sitting with dad to watch and had gathered a superman cape from his room so that he could terminate a large teddy bear with extreme prejudice in the floor of the living room as we watched
the remainder of the movie. This was really not that big of a surprise to me, but around the same time I had a realization that Nacho is really onto something.

You can walk into any church building in America and find a group of people who have a set of expectations. Each set will be different, but any church has its ideas about how things are done or not done and those ideas are based on past experiences. That's natural and fine, the trouble is that sometimes we get blinded by those past experiences and we cannot move forward because we don't see the opportunities in front of us.

In the movie, Nacho (Black) is eventually outed for his streng verboten wrestling career after his robe catches on fire during a prayer vigil, revealing his stretchy pants underneath. He quickly finds his room emptied and he is expelled from the fellowship after it is declared that "he is not a man of God."

SPOILER ALERT

By the end, Nacho has taken strength from the encouragement he receives from the children and beaten the greatest wrestler in town, which brings in enough money to supply good food for a very long time and a bus "to take the orphans on field trips to parks and places like that."

All in all, our hero had the bravery to struggle through the rejection and do what it took to bring good into the lives of other people, even though it was entirely unconventional and he risked his entire reputation and livelihood in order to do so.

Whether I want my boys to grow up to be wrestlers is still up for debate,... I dunno, those masks are pretty cool,... but I do know one thing for sure. I do want them to grow up casting their own image, acceptance, and popularity aside for the good of others, even if it means having the church people talk about them.

Our youngest adults really aren't interested in traditions and current cultural norms if they stand in the way of getting good things done. Best I can tell, Jesus seems to be similarly unconcerned about societal rules that keep redemption at bay in the name of "the way things work." In 10 years or so, my boys are going to be coming on the scene full force. My prayer is that they will be full of ideas and that they will be in the midst of a church that recognizes failing as a sign of chasing after God with everything you have.

Lunar Philosophy

Sometimes, the only reasonable action one can take is to stand in his driveway at two in the morning and stare at the moon, contemplating one's place in the grand scheme. After staring long enough, it just may seem that it would be possible to get a closer look just by taking a few steps forward. In a bit more yet, it is possible that such a person might have the pleasure of witnessing the brilliant flash of a bright shooting star and, upon such a pleasure, realize that everything is, in that moment, perfect...that we are just in the right place at the right time and it's not by any accident, but by the hand of God, Himself, that all of these things have occurred. 

As a man reflects on these moments, he might realize its possible that God even put such a brilliant celestial show into play just for him...after all, everyone else is asleep and the odds of another person within the same general location having been gazing to the heavens at the exact same moment are rather marginal. 

Alas, as all of these beauties are being soaked into the soul, the realization dawns that the moment has passed and one is left with but a sweet memory. 

Life is brisk. Every breath is here and gone. Circumstances fly entirely without restraint. We become distracted and frustrated. Our days pass seemingly unnoticed by even ourselves.  The daily trifles of coming and going about overwhelm us. We believed ourselves so strong, but we doubt ourselves more and more with each sun that sets. Fear of insignificance thrashes our hearts like a Roman soldier. Such doubt and fear will undoubtedly bring about a deep anger that is fueled by our instinct to overcome, but, ironically it only drives the shovel deeper into the cold earth at the bottom of an ever-deepening pit of despair and woe. 

In such a case, one might humbly suggest that a man should take his hand from the plow and give up for a bit. Such respite would make for a great opportunity to spend some of the night staring at the moon. 

Everyone Has A Team

Recently, I was listening to the fabulous leadership podcast from Andy Stanley. In this particular installment, he mentioned something about doing something "with your team" (as well as in every other episode, I'm sure) and I started thinking about the kids in my youth group... What would they say if they heard someone advising them to spend time learning from, being with, consulting with, brainstorming with their team? I quickly became mortified at the thought of one of them shrugging, flipping their hair out of their eyes and saying "I don't have a team." with a squint in their eye to fill in the rest of the statement..."What does that have to do with me?"

Even worse than all of that, I'm afraid that middle and high school students aren't the only ones who would be prone to that kind of reaction. Way too many of us who have...eh...put our school years behind us, per se... are completely clueless how statements about "team" have anything to do with us. You don't have to be a manager, supervisor, principal, director, etc. to have a team. You don't even have to be old enough to drive.

Everyone has a team, whether you know it or not. We all have people we talk things over with, people who are in a similar place in life, who face similar struggles, from whom we find strength. Co-workers, relatives, colleagues, our best friend from preschool... unfortunately, we don't often think of these people as being on our team, but if they are interested enough in your well-being to give you even a little bit of their time, they're on your team.

Clearly, not everyone will give you solid advice every time, and not everyone will even manage to steer you right most of the time (you know who I'm talking about). However, if you can think of 3-5 people, in whom you can truly place your trust, please allow me to make a suggestion.

Recognize the significance they have in your life and reach out to each of them to personally and officially invite them to be "on your team." It will be like having your own personal Board of Directors.

I know this kind of thing isn't for everyone and you can certainly live a pretty awesome life without following such advice, but if you do actually reach out to these folks and extend such an invitation, you can expect two things. One, they will be greatly flattered, honored, and humbled by your request. Its never a bad idea to do that for someone else. Second, you just might find them being more intentional in pouring into your life and helping push you to do greater things... which will never be bad for you.

I know there's a chance that you're not convinced and you still say you have no team. I still beg to differ... let me leave you with this...

In Hebrews 11, the writer expounds on all kinds of biblical heroes of faith... Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Noah... He tells their stories and drives home the point that their faith in God and in His intent to keep His promises to His people were the driving force behind all of the stories that made their lives so exceptional. Then, to begin chapter 12, the writer says this:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

You may not be able to call up Moses or Abraham on the phone and talk things over with them, but, essentially, the writer is telling you that all of these saints who have gone on before us, those mentioned in scripture and the ones who aren't... including your grandmother and her sweet next door neighbor who always gave you a glass of sweet tea when you were outside playing...

They are all cheering for YOU.

Preparing For the Attack That Is Coming Today

It's going to happen today... I promise...

You'll be tootling along (that's a real phrase where I come from), minding your own business, taking that thing for which you woke up this morning and wearing it out.  Then, before you know it, you'll find your focus helplessly scattered like that plastic grass we so foolishly placed in our easter baskets as kids... You remember that stuff. It was so easy and fun to throw around all over the place and nearly humanly impossible to gather back up.

For people like me, a stimulant medication prescribed by your physician may help, but at the end of the day, against this kind of thing, there is only one true game plan, and that is to define your hit list from the beginning.

Not everyone's list should be the same, because we aren't all gingerbread men (or people...take your pick). However, because we are all human and made out of the same stuff, we do all have a lot more in common than you might think. I'm not gonna pretend to know all about you or be the boss of you, I'm not even going to pretend to be good at all of these things, myself (seriously...just ask my wife), but let me share some things I believe make me a little better at focusing my time and, more importantly, living a life of wholeness... hopefully, you'll find them helpful, too.

1. It should be true to who you are. Not in a selfish way that says "It's a free country and I'll do whatever I dang-well please!", but in a way that genuinely allows who you are to be expressed by the way you spend your time. It's cool to spend time improving on skills that you need to sharpen that don't come naturally to you, but that's not the kind of thing that will leave you sleeping well at the end of a long day, unless it's balanced out in good proportion to doing things with which you're already super awesome. Who you are determines your task, not the other way around.

2. Make sure others are benefitting from how you spend your time. This one can be tricky. There's a certain amount of self-care that is necessary to be useful to the world around you. You can't forget all about yourself and then wonder why you have a hard time helping others. Your body, mind, and soul all need to be kept in order to allow for your life to be as effective as possible when pursuing service to others. At the same time, we have to be careful not to become self-absorbed and turn inward.  That will only leave us an atrocity in one who is supremely prepared, but completely blinded to all scenarios in which we may be of help.

3. The shorter the list, the better. Would you rather be okay at lots of things or really amazing at a few things? If you're the kind of person who loves to know a little bit about everything and has a head full of typically-useless information, you and I should think twice before spending time together... It could be bad... In the Egon Spengler sense. There's nothing wrong with being the naturally curious type and having a well-rounded education, but when your greatest skills, and the use of those skills, begins to suffer on account of just having too much going on, you gotta do some pruning. In the end, the more focused you can manage to be with how you spend your time, the more likely you are to be remarkably effective.

What would you put on this list of "tips?" Is this good stuff or is it all bunk? What's been your greatest key to effectiveness?

Before I wrap this, let me give you one specific thing that is on my list... I have to take time, every day, to maintain and polish the relationship between me and God.  Piece of cake, I know...but I have experienced, all too often, how messed up things can get in my life and in everything I do, when I'm spiritually starving. When the wheels are falling off of everything and I'm rattled to my core by the circumstances in my life or by what I have been unable to accomplish, I've seen time and time again that the problem is no further away than in my own soul.

Thanks for sharing a few minutes with me today. I know your time is valuable, so let me share my prayer for you today and send you off to go kill whatever is to be on your plate today...

God, thank you for the day that you have given us and for the greatness we see in the world you have created. It can be a tough thing to know our place in this world, but I know that, through you, we can know ourselves and our role in the world better than ever. Please bless everyone who reads this post with a renewed sense of purpose in life and help them to know that purpose deeper with every day that passes. Thanks for loving us and being intricately involved in our lives. Thank you for sacrificing your son so that we can know you and be fully known by you. In the name of Jesus I pray all these things. Amen. 

Some thoughts from L&D

As is sit here with my wife in the labor and delivery unit, I've got all kinds of things in my mind... I'm happy, excited, nervous, elated, expectant... You get the idea.

All of that is reasonable and expected, but I've got some other things on my mind, as well... 

Today, in just a few hours, in this little room with the most homey hospital decorations you'll ever see, heaven and earth will meet in a beautifully chaotic collision of the cosmos. In a little while, a new human being will breathe in, for the first time, the atmosphere of this earth. His tiny little eyes will be awakened. His little hands, with fingernails so small they look like they couldn't possibly be real, will grasp my fingers for the first time...getting a start on the day he will hold my hand. This sweet little boy will begin his conscious journey toward eternity.

What will those hands touch? What will they provide to another in need? What will those little eyes see? How many tears will they yield out of compassion for another in his pain? What encouraging words will be propelled forth from his mouth by those little lungs that will surely display their power with that first cry?

It feels like I'm standing at the edge of eternity, dangling by the thin air of a first breath and the threads of a sound uttered for the first time by newly-inflated lungs. 

When I finally get to look on the face of my new baby boy today, I will look on the face of our God. There's no closer experience, I'm convinced, in this life to being before the LORD of heaven and earth...the maker of all things, than to be there to touch, to hold, to feel, to hear, to look upon a fresh soul, as yet, unharmed by the world.  Alas, there is no more sobering thought than to know that the greatest thing can possibly happen in his life will be his death, both spiritual and physical, that he can be fully redeemed and re-created, to spend eternity in the presence of a loving God...and that's an eternity I have every intention of experiencing with all of my family...and a responsibility I must accept...that I will fight, tooth and nail, to help him become the man God desires him to be. That he will be an agent of God's redemption in a world full of evil, a light in a dark place, a man, of whom, people will say we are all better off because of his presence in our lives. 

My Home

I had a dream last night, and it was very significant to me because of various things that have been going on in my life. I don't believe that ANYTHING happens by accident and I thought, just maybe, there is someone else out there who may read about that dream and find it significant, as well.

Having just gotten out of bed and going about my business in the house, I happened to glance out of the window of my bedroom that looks onto the back yard. There, I noticed a child, whom I did not recognize, walking through.  I headed downstairs to go out to the back and find out who the child was and for what reason he was in the yard.

When I left the house from the back door, the presence of the child was no longer a mystery. I saw that every tree in my neighborhood had, apparently, been leveled by a storm. Mind you, this is no small feat, as there are numerous trees, on my street alone, that must be of 100 years of age, more-less...towering hardwoods abound.

I observed that many of my neighbors had already made it outside to begin the cleanup.  Some were gathering fallen branches, others were running saws... one, next door, was commencing with replacing her fence, which had, one might suppose, been completely pulled up and carried away by the same winds that had knocked down all the trees.

As I stood in my back yard, likely looking somewhat like a grade-school student who had just encountered his favorite ball player...eyes wide, mouth hanging open, barely breathing, and fairly statuesque... I was horrified at all of the damage. I could not imagine what it would take, and for how long, to get things back to normal...at least as normal as we would ever know them again. How many chainsaws would I burn through? How much fuel would it take? Will I even be able to get fuel?

In all of my dumbfounded wonder, I made my way over to talk to my neighbor who was already putting in her new fence. All I could utter was to say "It's just amazing."

"Yeah. And to think it all happened so fast, too." she said. "Bout 10 minutes was all it was, but it all sounded like a bunch of gunshots... just one right after the other."

"Gunshots!?" I thought to myself. This only added to my dismay. "What kind of father or husband sleeps through this kind of thing?... A terrible one, that's who. I mean, how am I to ever expect to be able to provide protection for my family in the middle of the night if even THIS kind of thing doesn't rouse me from my apparently-comatose slumber!? What if one of those trees had fallen on the house!? I've read the stories, seen the videos, and even seen the houses where trees have cut through bedrooms like a knife through butter!"

And then my train of thought was halted, quite abruptly...and like a crash-test dummy's rag doll neck whips as a wet noodle in those horrible videos, I felt that I had violently collided with a completely different dimension of reality, as I finally realized what I had wondered to myself in the midst of my vitriolic recital of self-abhorence...

"What if one of those trees had fallen on the house?..."

I was stunned.

As far as the eye could see, there was nothing but mangled wreckage. Hardly anything, even a blade of grass, was left in its place. But here I was referring to damage to my home in a hypothetical sense. Turning, now, to look squarely at my home, I could see a hefty smattering of tree bark and pine needles over the roof and pseudo-plastered to the side of the house... There were bushes destroyed and all of my trees were lying parallel and prostrate, prepared for their transformation into firewood... Firewood that, next winter, would be burned in my fireplace... a fireplace that was still perfectly intact. Those trees that may have threatened to destroy my dwelling place, and of the same type that did a perfectly fine job of annihilating so many other homes, will now be used to provide warmth and comfort for my family.

My house, the structure that provides for one of my family's most basic needs, was complete and whole. It was intact, entirely.

My home was untouched.

And then I woke up.

When I first began my day this morning, I'll admit that this was just a terrible dream. It wasn't until I recalled my dream to my wife this morning, over breakfast, that it became significant.

I don't know about you or where you might be in your life. I don't know what you've been through, but I know I have a good share of times in my life when I feel attacked and endangered... sometimes it's physical, sometimes its relational, sometimes it's spiritual, but this morning, as I polished of the bacon and cheese eggs my wife had fixed for me, and I told her about this dream, I couldn't help feeling that God was reminding me that, even when all of those things happen and I experience all kinds of tumult, He is with me. When I am inadequate, He is ultimate.

My prayer in writing this down and sharing it with you all is that someone in an egregious set of circumstances might happen to give this a read and find some encouragement.  Even if nothing I've written seems to make any difference in your life at all, hopefully the words of Psalm 23 (NLT) will:

 The LORD is my shepherd;

I have all that I need.

 He lets me rest in green meadows;

he leads me beside peaceful streams.

 He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths,

bringing honor to his name.

 Even when I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will not be afraid,

for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff

protect and comfort me.

 You prepare a feast for me

in the presence of my enemies.

You honor me by anointing my head with oil.

My cup overflows with blessings.

 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me

all the days of my life,

and I will live in the house of the LORD

forever.

funeral for a twitter name...

I know that the presses stopped the other night... Bryan Williams did a double-take... Walter Cronkite probably shivered... all because I changed my social media presence from alienwanderer to jasonbterry. 

Obviously, I couldn't exaggerate more, but a couple of people have asked me about it, so let me explain why.

First, the easy part: I changed everything to jasonbterry because I'll always be me. Regardless of where God takes me in this life (barring any potential induction into a witness protection program) that name will always work for me. Being 32, I have a better understanding of the fact that the big thing that God is teaching me right now is not likely to be the overarching theme of my life and learning in 10 years... let's go ahead and go with something timeless... wait, that's weird... my name isn't so amazing that it's timeless, but it's not going to change over time. (And I thought this was gonna be the easy part...)

So why get away from alienwanderer? First, a look at why I went with it, in the first place... from my old blogsite...

the whole “alienwanderer” thing is about our lack of belonging in this world and the journey through which we wander with God as our lead, one step at a time.

While I certainly still strive to have God as my leading beacon, frankly, I've grown to reject the idea that Christians don't have a place in this world, that we don't belong here. Now, before you sharpen your pitchfork, let me explain...

But according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells.
II Peter 3:13

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away
Revelation 21:1-4

I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:
 “Death is swallowed up in victory.”
 “O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”
 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ
I Corinthians 15:51-56 

There is myriad of other scriptures I could list, but this is sufficient to get the conversation started. The bottom line is this:

I have come to understand the teaching of scripture to be that evil has stolen the world from us and from God. He made the earth and everything in it and declared "it is good" (except for man being alone, which he promptly remedied... that's another train of thought, altogether). Then, evil made its way in through the fruit of the Tree of the Fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (anyone else think we could've come up with a longer name for that?...such a pitiful effort)... through Adam and Eve's sin in the Garden...

The Garden of Eden... That perfect place where there was full-on communion between God and man.

Everything was right in that place. It was Heaven on Earth in the truest sense of the term, wasn't it? What more could God or man ask for than to be together, fully? But all of that was stolen when sin/evil entered the world through man. Then, scripture tells us what followed...

The Tabernacle...

The Temple...

God, Himself, embodied as a man, Jesus...

The coming of the Holy Spirit to every believer...

God has spent all this time getting closer and closer and closer... longing to be with His people, to dwell among us again... longing for the day when we can be together again as we were in the Garden. 

...And that's where we're going. 

Having redeemed our souls with the blood of Jesus, God is now in close communion with us, spiritually, through the Holy Spirit, but with Jesus' resurrection, He is poised to redeem the earth and all of creation through the coming baptism with fire. Once the Earth is redeemed, with all sin and evil forever purged from its contents, God will, again, dwell with His creation in the fullest sense. 

Our hope is great, for we are not destined to spend eternity as disembodied spirits in some detached, parallel dimension any more than Jesus was only "kinda" resurrected, merely as a spirit.  Jesus had a physical resurrected body of perfection and immortality...raised imperishable...never to die again, and we are destined for the same thing. 

The Earth is destined to put on perfection and immortality, to be imperishable, with never another occurrence of death. 

We are going back to the Garden of Eden. The New Heaven and New Earth are one in the same. God is coming back... coming back to the Garden of Eden, and the place of the Christian is with Him..."That where I am, there you may also be."

I am no alien in this place. I'm just waiting and trusting in God, that He will keep His promise to return and grant us an eternity in His presence... here... in the newly-redeemed Garden of Eden. 

Today's Phonecall...

I had a phone call today that I want to remember for a really long time... like forever.

The call came from a dear friend whom I've known for practically my whole life and it was profound. It broke me on a very deep level. I hope it continues to do so.

My friend was adopted as a young child after experiencing all kinds of unspeakable abuse. She carried the effects, emotional, mental and physical, of those abuses on into her new life and still has a suitcase full of them.  She blames no one else for her decisions in the years that followed, but when it comes to reaping what is sown, she harvested a bumper crop as an adolescent and young adult.

Eventually, she found herself in prison.  The nature of the charges is of no matter... Imagine what you will, for it won't likely be of any significant difference from reality.

As you may suspect, traveling down this road left my friend with fewer and fewer people by her side as time went by. Some relationships changed, but most just disappeared.

I can't explain it, except to say that it is to no credit of my own... perhaps just dumb luck, but for whatever reason, I never let go of the relationship with my friend. There were plenty of times when I didn't know or just lost track of the details, but I was pretty well aware of all the things going on with her over the years. I knew about the drugs, the nights in the hotels, the pregnancies, and lots of other things... I also knew what was being said. I knew about the people who gave up. I don't blame them.  There was a mountain of experience that showed, time and time again, no matter what the current big news was about how she was getting things together, inevitably she would just fall apart again. At times, I really found myself wanting to give up, too. I didn't...not because of some big moral fortitude, the much more likely cause is just plain naiveté, but I didn't give up, even though, sometimes, I hated myself for it.

When people invest money and get burned, it's a no-brainer to cash out before things get worse, or, at least, to determine not to make the same mistake again. When we invest in people...with our time and our emotions...and we get burned, it's 1,000 times worse. It hurts. It's natural and completely understandable to guard yourself against feeling that pain again. We stop talking. We deny past relationships. We build walls, and those walls last a long time. They keep others from knowing what's going on. It's their whole purpose, but the trouble is they cover up the bad and the good, equally.

The truth is, it's been years since my friend has had any trouble with the law. She still carries her scars, quite literally, but she's clean. Best of all, she knows that being clean takes a lot more than her own will-power.  She's not clean because she is no longer tempted by anything, quite the contrary. She's learned what sets her off and she's put things in place in her life to keep her out of things that are bad news for her, but she attributes everything she's gained in her battle against her demons to God... or the "higher power" they tell you about in AA meetings, if you wanna be more PC about it. It's likely that she prays more than just about anyone I know. She knows the goodness and love of God in ways that I'll never understand because she's experienced the evil and hate of satan in ways that I could never imagine.

She's now living a fair piece from anywhere she once called home (just another safety to keep her out of old patterns of behavior). She's working a solid job, has health insurance and a 501k. She's a bit giddy because she's looking to own a vehicle in the next couple of weeks for only the second time in her life. She has a savings account. She's putting clothes on her kids' backs with the money she makes.  If that's not enough, she was also telling me about the people she's staying with, about how they have no beliefs in God and the little girls who live in the house said that, until she read it to them this past Christmas, they had never heard about Jesus' birth. She's been the one to tell these girls about God providing for our needs and helping them understand that every bite of food they put in their mouths comes from Jehovah Jireh.  The girls made everyone stop before eating a couple of nights ago because they "have to pray first." One of the adults in the house has even started asking for my friends prayers when people or circumstances seem unwell.. Seems like the only sucky thing in her life right now is that she has practically no one around, with whom she can rejoice.

Many have said that the ones we love the most are the ones we hurt the worst... I don't know about that one for sure, but the ones we love the most certainly hold the most power to hurt us. Under the circumstances, we'd all pretty well agree that it's a given for friends and acquaintances to be long gone...maybe some distant family have checked out, but surely the core is still intact. There's always going to be someone there for you in your family.

Nope.

This phone call didn't give me any big new information about my friend. I knew better than 90% of the things she talked about, already. But the thing that got me was when she talked about what she wanted for her birthday...a scrapbook. She wants pictures of people she used to know so that she can make her own family tree. In her words,

         "I'm XX years old and I don't have a family...I want a family."

She went on to explain that there were some exceptions to her statement, but that in comparison to what she could have had or, arguably, should have had, she often feels very alone. She told of invitations that went unanswered, other ways that she had, however tentatively so, taken initial steps to reach out to those whom she had burned. She even recalled the time that one extended grace and confessed that "Everyone deserves a second chance." and reflected on the hope she had in that moment, that perhaps her world was nearing the precipice of being reconciled...a hope that has faded as the years have gone by.

God doesn't call His children to be ignorant lemmings who go about their days "helping other people" without taking any regard to the ramifications of their assistance. I don't believe God has called us to be push-overs... not your steppin' stone, so to speak, but all things in moderation. It's one thing to keep someone at arm's length to prevent injury to you or your family and protect another from that guilt. It's another thing, entirely, to push someone away to such great distances that, if/when they were to right their course, you're too far away to even have the ability to know. In those cases, suddenly, the tables turn and we're no longer protecting anyone we love, but, rather, we find ourselves to be the one's committing the injury, leaving the prodigal son no one with whom to share the fatted calf.  Ananias was all but certain that he was to meet his death upon meeting Saul of Tarsus, but instead he shared in a great joy that would be for all the ages.

I don't claim to have kept this balance perfectly all of my days, but I feel it's good to try. I certainly don't stand in judgement over anyone who has ever decided to exclude another from his/her life...everyone's circumstances are different and I'm not God (for which, we are all thankful).

What about you? Do you think there's something to this? Have you ever encountered a similar situation? Been the one pushing others away? Been the one who was pushed? I'll admit that I wrote this all at once, as much as a matter of my own reflection and record as anything else, so perhaps my reasonings are flawed here and there, but I got a bomb dropped on me today...and it just might change the way I do some things if it means that I can do a better job of showing people who God really is.